HOW POOR COMMUNICATION LEADS TO DRAMA AND WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT

Remember this site is dealing with YOU in a holistic way not just concerning your outward appearance. To shine on the outside you have to shine from within and that includes how you think and how you interact with others. In other words COMMUNICATION.

Over years using social network sites I've noticed never a day goes past without some drama somewhere and by and large most of the drama is caused by poor communication. 

There is drama caused by some mischief makers you will get them anywhere and these trouble makers delight in getting their kicks out of upsetting and winding others up. I have noticed they love doing this and then disappearing, these types are best ignored for the more attention you give them even negative attention, is still attention, the more they love it. With them don't play the game and they will get fed up and crawl away.

But I would like to blog about the fore mentioned type of drama, poor communication. When we communicate in person we don't just use words, we use our voice expressing tone, we use body language, we gesticulate and we smile, use our eyes, we laugh.  On social network sites what means of communication do we have available to us? we have words, therein lies the problem. Even when we speak the same language say English, we all have different colloquialisms and expressions but to compound the problem further we can be classified into different types, the way we interpret and understand each other.

Some of you may have heard of Neuro linguistic programing NLP for short, and NLP has many uses, but essentially its about the way our brain assimilates information and acts on it and how we can program our brains to use this information to best effect. NLP is a vast subject. I studied it as part of Health Studies at University and put it into practice in my work as a lecturer and as a counsellor to good effect.

The one aspect I want to mention is how we interpret the written word and the classification of different types of personalities.

There are three main types and some sub types and people can be combination of types but by and large there  generally is a dominate type within each of us e.g.

Visuals, who like to think in pictures and diagrams, who prefer to say take in information via diagrams and illustrations, who use the words I see, picture this and various expressions conveying their  dominate visual skills, when they are thinking for example if trying to spell something, you will see them raise their eyes upwards and to the left as if accessing some part up there in their brain, which is actually what they are doing. They love colour and tend to dress flamboyantly.

Auditory types, who think in words, they respond to hearing and learning through the spoken word are good at receiving instructions and work well on the telephone. When they think, you will see them tilt their heads to one side showing an ear and when they are working or studying say like peace and quiet, noise is a distraction to them. They too will use words to express their auditory skills, can you hear me, listen if you want my advice. They are more conservative in appearance

And the Kinesthetic types, these are the touchy feely ones, when they are thinking and concentrating you will see them looking downwards to their abdomen towards their solar plexus. These are the type of people who like to touch things, whether its stroke fabric when buying things and tend to be  shifting position in an audience however slight as they have to work the information in. They will use words conveying feelings and emotions, who like to show affection and will talk about how they feel and can be very empathetic words like I understand, I really feel for you etc.

So what has all this got to do with drama on social network sites, well it is  just showing we take in and assimilate information differently, and we are apt to misconstrue information differently as we do not have rapport with the persons we are trying to communicate with. Its nobody's fault. We can get over this in person as we use or voice and our body language in person so we have more ways to take in understanding, but on here we are limited to just words. If you also bear in mind many of the people we communicate with come from different cultures and English is not their first language you compound the problem further if you do not take all this into consideration.

So want can we do, well by taking time to read carefully what is written and not jump to first conclusions, different cultures will use the same words but with different meanings and look at their use of words, do you think they are visuals if they use the words I see a lot, or are they very emotionally based by using touchy feely words etc.

When you can ascertain and gage what type some one is you can talk the same language as them and gain rapport e.g. if some one is a visual type use the same type of words and expressions mirror them and try and gain understanding and thus rapport. By doing this and just being aware not everyone thinks the same way as you and just because they don't it doesn't make them wrong and you right. Just take a little time to understand and learn to communicate with one another by doing that you can ease the drama that is all to prevalent on social network sites

Maggie Brown (Author)

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