ANIMALS AND THE AFTERLIFE

THE SPIRIT OF THE GREY STALLION 

Now the article below my post here is from the Daily Mail but I want to recall my own experiences as a Medium. In Spiritualist's beliefs we believe both humans and animals have their own soul groups and we all begin as lower life forms gradually with each incarnation moving up the scale from the lower animal life forms until, more intelligent animals such as horses and elephants etc. until the time comes until the high forms are ready to be incarnated in human form. We then continue reincarnating and growing in human form.

I have many experiences with animal spirits but one very strong memory was when I was teaching. I had a class of mature college students and was in the midst of an anatomy and physiology lesson when the spirit form of a grey stallion with white mane stood next to one of the students. This horse stood very tall and I tried my best to carry on with the lesson but it was very difficult to do so when this horse was trying to attract my attention. To explain when we mediums communicate with animals its not through conventional speaking it's through thoughts and feelings. The students knew about my abilities but I did not talk about such subjects but touched on it in Holistic therapies, such as Aromatherapy and Crystal Healing.

Trying to carry on the lesson this horse conveyed to me about another horse and described its appearance and that it was a brown mare who was very sick. The stallion also conveyed to me how he passed over due to a wound in its leg after he had injured himself on a wire fence. He was a proud beast and quite a character.

I had an overwhelming feeling I should talk to this student about this and spirit always told me never to fear coming forward if I felt the need to. So at break I explained what I had picked up, the student was shocked at first but her family ran stables and indeed they had to put down a grey stallion after its severe injuries. She also told me they hired out horses and ponies to riding clubs and indeed they did have a brown mare of the description given to me but as far as she knew the mare was fine and was hired out to a riding club.

Two days went by and the student excitedly came to find me, the mare had been returned to them indeed very sick, the vet at the riding club didn't know what was wrong and neither did the girl's family's vet, it was obviously a very sick animal. I recalled what the Stallion had conveyed to me but I hadn't told the student how serious the mare was not wishing to alarm her, in actual fact the Stallion had conveyed the mare was to pass over.

One month later we had a fire alarm alert and the college staff and students were all gathered outside, fortunately it was a false alarm but the Stallion appeared standing next to the student, it was a bad feeling and I knew the Stallion had come for the mare to take her spirit to the afterlife. Later on this afternoon the student received a call from her mother to inform her the mare had died.

Now whether you chose to believe this story it is up to you, there were witnesses as I recalled the Stallion right down to where the injury was and how it had happened including the horse's character. I had no idea of this student's background and had no contact with any of her horses, in fact trying to describe their character was difficult and strange to the witnesses how I could communicate with the spirit of a dead horse. This is merely one of the spirit communications I have had with animals.

MPB (C)

Animals and the afterlife: The pets who get in touch with their owners long after they've gone to the big field in the sky

We all develop close bonds with our pets over years of feeding, petting and growing up together.

But some bonds seem to be so strong, they carry on into the afterlife.

In Kim Sheridan's book, Animals And The Afterlife, she recounts tales of families who were visited by their pets long after they had passed away...

ANIMAL SPIRIT SPOTTING

Animal lover: Kim Sheridan spoke to dozens of 'communicators' to gather stories for her book Animals And The Afterlife

George Stone was an animal spirituality sceptic until he saw the ghost of a dog jumping through walls.
He told Sheridan: 'I was once walking down an unlit road at night when I saw a big white dog come across the road. It was jumping as it moved – but in slow motion – and just went through the fence on the other side and on up through a field.
'I watched as it ran, still in slow motion, until I lost sight of it. So yes, I believe animals have spirits as we do.
'I think that every living thing has an afterlife.'

THE LIFESAVING CAT

American nursery teacher Debra Tadman's oldest cat, Wiggie, had just died when she first called animal communicator Sharon Callaghan.
'Wiggie and I had a very close relationship and I felt as if I had lost a child. He had seen me through a marriage, divorce, other relationships, three house moves and other life experiences.'

Sharon told Debra Wiggie was concerned about her apartment, because it was a 'toxic place'.
'About a year later I decided to paint the inside of my apartment,' Debra said. 'It was then I found out that the texture contained asbestos. I had to have the entire ceiling removed.'


'When the wood wall panelling that had been exposed to the asbestos was taken down there was mould all over the walls. Then when parts of the wall were removed it was discovered that the aluminium wiring needed to be replaced.
Debra is forever grateful to Wiggie. She said: 'To this day I can’t believe how accurate and true that reading was. There is no way that Sharon could have known this.
'I didn’t even know myself until I started to have some painting done.'

Pet crazy: Kim playing around with her dog, Beau

THE LOYAL FRIEND

Narelle Box, a jeweller in Australia, had also recently had to say goodbye to her 'feline soulmate' of 15 years, Browby, when she went to a spiritual healer to help her grieve.
'The medium did not know that I’d had a cat who had died. When I rang to book the appointment I spoke to her husband. He just gave me an appointment date, a time and the address. He didn’t ask for any details.
'When I arrived on the day of the appointment the medium opened the door and the first thing she said as I walked across the threshold was, "Oh look, there’s a black cat at your feet."
'Those were the first words she said to me and that was the first time we had spoken.
'I looked down and saw nothing... I was speechless but it’s great to know that they are still looking after us and keeping us company.'

LIMITED VISIBILITY

Some people are more open to spirits than others. Often some family members can see a pet who has passed on, while others cannot.
Robert and Kathy Simmons' dog, Hobbes, passed away while their son was at university.
When he returned home and was told his pet had died, Moe replied: 'That’s impossible. He was just here and I patted him.'

Strong bond: Some bonds between humans and pets are so strong they carry on into the afterlife

A PHYSICAL PRESENCE

Others can feel their pets but cannot see them.
Animal communicator Gail De Sciose told Sheridan: 'People have told me they have actually felt the physical presence of their animals after they have died.
'There was one woman who told me that at times she could feel her cat sitting on her lap purring, even though the cat had passed away.'

THE ANIMAL WHO WAS LEFT BEHIND

Gail De Sciose had another client who had moved into a house where she started seeing a spirit cat.
She said: 'Her own animals saw that spirit animal too and everybody was comfortable with it because the cat had a very nice energy.
'We later found out that this cat had lived in that house 30 years before and that the cat’s owner had also since died.'

KEEPING UP THE ROUTINE

Read more: Animals And The Afterlife contains dozens more tales about spiritual appearances

Barbara Meyers, a qualified grief therapist and animal behavourist told Sheridan her favourite tale about a pet's spirit sticking to the routine it had followed throughout its life.
'For a number of years I had treatment from a chiropractor, Meyers recalled. 'At that time one of the canine members of my family was a white toy poodle called Skila who accompanied me everywhere.
'Whenever we went to the chiropractor, Skila would run down the hallway outside the treatment room then run back and jump into the chiropractor’s arms. He always knew when we’d arrived because he would hear her coming down the hall.
'About six months after Skila died I had a very agitated phone call from the chiropractor who told me he had been in his office working at his desk when he heard something in the hallway. When he looked out of his office door he saw Skila walking down the hall as she had done so many times before.
'It was not a feeling or an image or some kind of shadowy sensation. It was what is known as a solid visitation. He was stunned. He had called not so much to tell me that Skila had visited him but that he thought he was having a breakdown.
'You see I had known him for years and we had talked about many things but he believed all this "stuff", as he would call it, was simply the product of a grief-stricken mind. That day everything changed for him.'
Animals And The Afterlife was written by Kim Sheridan. It is published by Hay House and costs £10.99

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2043261/Animals-afterlife-The-dead-pets-touch-owners.html#ixzz1ZMPWFBzB

Maggie Brown (Author)

Visit Amazon's Maggie Brown Page

Find all the books, read about the author, and more.

Top Stories

MOON MYTHOLOGY~MAKING USE OF THE MOON

FROM PRACTICAL ASTROLOGY

THE NEW MOON

A fair number of astrologers believe that the day of the new moon each month is a power day that can be accessed to change or improve your life. Some astrologers liken these days to 'wishing' days - in which the correct wish, expressed in the correct way, has the power to come true. Others look at the two week period after the new moon as a time to sow seeds that can be later reaped for favorable results. The metaphors some use are those of 'birth' or 'newness', 'fresh start', or even simply increased focus on the sign and house where the new moon falls.

You may use whatever metaphor or conception that suits you, but let's look for a moment at the astrological symbolism to get an idea how the new moon presents a special opportunity each month. Roughly speaking, the moon represents the subconscious mind, and the sun the conscious one. The sun also symbolically represents the driving force of our daily lives.

The moon, however, works at night, reflecting on the activities of the day, attempting to integrate them, understand them, to see how we can resolve potential conflicts they generate. The moon represents the power engine that underlies our conscious thought, the machine that is always humming beneath the surface of our lives, generating the energy that fuels us, keeping us going. When the subconscious and conscious minds are in conflict (astrologically, when the sun and moon are in conflict), the subconscious always has the upper hand, inconvenient and illogical as that may seem from time to time. All of our conscious attempts to lose weight, for example, can be sabotaged by a subconscious association between weight and safety. The Moon represents our needs, the Sun our wants. And when our needs come into conflict with our wants, the primacy of need usually wins, somehow or another.

The magic of the new moon is that for one day each month - the sun and the moon are on exactly the same page. This is not the normal state of affairs astrologically, and it isn't the normal state of affairs in human life. Balancing the relationship between our wants and needs, conscious and subconscious minds, our drive to do and our craving to reflect and find meaning is an ongoing process, dynamic, always in flux. It is normal for every person to experience a continuing range of compromises and adjustments in dealing with both needs and wants. It is, in fact, so normal, that many of us take it for granted and don't give it a second thought.

For one day each month, however, both the moon and the sun are willing to get together and have a brief conversation about how wants and needs can be merged, how the subconscious and conscious minds can work together. This is a great thing! It does indeed represent a wonderful opportunity.

Here's how you might take advantage of it: On the day of the new moon each month, allow yourself to experience the full intensity of your biggest or most immediate want. Perhaps it is as simple as the desire for a sexy new car - or an overarching desire to succeed in your career. Just allow yourself to feel how much you want it. That night, take fifteen minutes to allow your subsconscious to reflect on and talk to you about that want. What does it feel like, what are the hesitations, doubts, and fears, what need does it represent? You may write out your thoughts, or think quietly to yourself.

This is an important step. It wouldn't be a want or a wish if you had already fulfilled it! Since you haven't, there must be something blocking that fulfillment. The moon, the subconscious, is the key to finding out what that block is. Your conscious mind may tell you the reason you don't have a sexy new car is because you don't have the money right now. Your subconscious mind may tell you it's because your family will ostracize you if you become a sexy new person instead of the responsible, self-denying, practical car driving person they expect.

Ask your subconscious and conscious minds what they would like to do about fulfilling your wish. Your Sun may say - now that it knows what the problem is - let the family adjust. Knowing you'll probably get some flack, just be prepared to deal with it. Your Moon might say - wouldn't it feel so good to see that sexy symbol of your sexy, confident inner self sitting in the driveway.

Now that you know what's at stake with this particular wish, your Sun can go off and do it's business of calculating out how you are going to pay for this car, and your moon can on about it's business of reminding you that you need to validate yourself as a sexy, deserving person sometimes. The sun can help deal with the moon's fear of alienating family members, and the moon can help give the sun the motivation it needs to take the actions that will meet your needs. Perhaps you don't need a car at all - perhaps you need to adjust your relationships with your family members. The two luminaries working together can help you figure this sort of thing out.

This is something all of us should do anyway. Taking 15 minutes once a month to problem-solve and take stock of our desires is something any success guru can tell you is the minimum investment you should make in your future. Your Sun can take you many places - but none of them will be worth visiting unless they meet the needs of your moon as well.

FULL MOON

The new moon is the time each month when the sun and the moon (conscious and subconscious minds) are the same page. The full moon is the time each month when they are on the opposite page! Your willpower tells you to do one thing, while your subconscious mind wants to do exactly the opposite.

This element of friction has given rise to a lot of speculation about various full moon effects on mental ward admissions and other minor upsets. This doesn't bear out statistically. Most of the time, for most people, the full moon doesn't have very much effect. In fact, the moon's influence on the earth is only slightly increased at the time of the full moon. On occasion, this slight increase can be enough to tip the balance and lead to a shake-up for an individual person, or even a flood of emotions. But this happens quite rarely really, and it happens only when there is pre-existing stress or strain in a person's chart (and life) that needs to be released.

In general, the full moon is associated astrologically with things like culmination, fullness, endings, and emotions. This may or may not be true in each individual case, but there's a fun way to put the full moon energy to use.

The full moon is related to endings and completion, but it is also related to conflict between the conscious and subconscious desires. And the subconscious wins! So, once each month, put this to work for you. By crossing something off your conscious to-do list. Almost all of us build up a mental bank of things we think we really ought to do but are subconsciously dreading and would rather skip entirely. At the time of the full moon, cross one of those things off your list - and honor the fact that your subconscious feelings don't always line up with your conscious beliefs.

Let's say you feel like you really ought to invite your mother-in-law over for an elegant dinner to show off your new house. But deep down you're dreading it and you even know, intuitively, that she doesn't really want to be impressed by your new house and your hostessing skills - they will only excite a certain envy and desire to criticize. Cross that task off your list - permanently. It wasn't a good idea anyway, although it may have seemed that way at first. She'll come over on a more relaxed occasion and you can all spare yourself an unnecessary ordeal.

Almost everyone has at least one thing each month they can cross off their list of imaginary obligations. You can check the sign and house positions of each full moon for an idea kit of what you may be able to rid yourself of during each particular month.

If you can get yourself in the habit of deleting one unnecessary to-do item each month, the full moon will start to become a real treat. A way of indulging and honoring that occasionally grumpy, but very useful and necessary mechanism inside us that wants to avoid what's not emotionally fulfilling anyway. And everything we get rid of that doesn't serve us leaves a little more room for joy.

http://practicalastrology.prettyfedup.com/articles.htm

Maggie Brown (Author)

Visit Amazon's Maggie Brown Page

Find all the books, read about the author, and more.

Top Stories

IT'S DOWNHILL ALL THE WAY!

SO WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT IT?
 Article below from the Daily Mail

 

 

Your incredible shrinking body: From your brain to your heart - almost everything gets smaller as you age

As we get older, we get shorter. But what many people won’t realise is that height is just one thing that shrinks with age: our hearts, facial bones and sex organs all shrink, too.

Such changes often go hand in hand with health problems.

Last week, a U.S. study found the more height you lose, the greater your risk of suffering a fractured hip — and one in three people who suffer a hip fracture die within a year.

Here, LOUISE ATKINSON investigates age-related shrinkages — and how you can protect your body.

Experts believe women appear to lose facial bone structure earlier than men (women in their early 40s, men 10 to 15 years later)

SPINE

Most of us lose at least one-third of an inch (1 cm) in height every decade after the age of 40. By 80, most men will be 2 in (5 cm) shorter than they were in their prime, and women as much as 3.15 in (8 cm) shorter.
Women shrink more than men because levels of the female hormone oestrogen — which helps protect bone health in men and women — fall rapidly at the menopause. Men also tend to have more muscle, which supports their frame.

But even after the age of 35, our bones begin to lose minerals, primarily calcium. As the body’s ability to replace new bone tissue slows, the bones shrink slightly and become brittle, making them more likely to collapse and break — a condition known as osteoporosis.
As well as the bones shrinking, height loss is also caused by the flattening of the discs that sit between the bones of the spine.
The 23 jelly-like discs, which act as the spine’s shock absorbers, are made up of around 88  per cent water. It is normal for them to become compressed during the day as we stand and move around, which squeezes out the fluid.
Then at night, when we lay down, the discs reabsorb fluid and plump up again — which explains why we shrink by as much as half an inch during the course of a day, only to regain the height overnight.
But as we get older, the discs flatten slightly, permanently reducing our height.

As well as the bones shrinking, height loss is also caused by the flattening of the discs that sit between the bones of the spine

Height loss at any age can be a warning sign of osteoporosis, particularly in women, but in men it also appears to be a marker for heart disease.
A large study of British men published in 2006 found that those who lost 1.2 in (2.8 cm) or more over a 20-year period were 46 per cent more likely to have suffered from coronary heart disease.
This, say researchers, is because the common diseases of ageing, including heart disease and osteoporosis, tend to strike together.
HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF: Around a fifth of us successfully avoid height shrinkage as we age. While good genes help, a healthy lifestyle is key.
To help stave off osteoporosis, you should stick to a healthy diet with adequate calcium (from dairy products and green leafy vegetables, or take 700 mcg of calcium supplements a day) and vitamin D (from sunlight or supplements, 10 mcg daily).
‘Smoking, alcohol and excess caffeine (more than eight cups of coffee or tea a day) can affect bone health, too,’ says Claire Bowring, medical policy officer at the National Osteoporosis Society.
Israeli researchers found that people who engaged in moderately vigorous aerobic activity lost only about half as much height as those who stopped exercising in middle age or never exercised at all.
And if you don’t work to keep muscles strong, particularly the abdominal muscles, you can quickly slip into an unhealthy, slumped  S-shape with a projecting tummy and a forward-sloping neck that can knock inches off your height.
Maintaining good posture will also protect ageing discs.

HEART

Heart muscle shrinks by an average 0.3 g per year from middle age, affecting its ability to pump blood through your body.
Using MRI scans of men and women aged 45 to 85, researchers at Johns Hopkins University in the U.S. found that with every year it takes longer for the heart muscles to squeeze and relax, by around 2 to 5  per cent, while the actual amount of blood pumped out of the heart falls by 9 millilitres a year.
This, in turn, can cause blood pressure to rise. High blood pressure can cause the heart muscles to thicken as they struggle to pump against increasing resistance.
‘A heart enlarged through hypertension will have a poor blood supply and may become fibrotic and prone to failure,’ says Graham Jackson, consultant cardiologist at Guy’s and St Thomas’ Hospital, London.
HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF: Like all muscles, the heart becomes stronger and less likely to shrink if it  is exercised.
‘Dynamic or aerobic activities that benefit the heart include walking, climbing stairs, gardening, vigorous housework, dancing or using home or gym exercise equipment,’ says Mr Jackson.
‘You don’t have to be Paula Radcliffe — just a good 40-minute walk five times a week is enough to make a difference.’

SEX ORGANS

The male and female sexual organs shrink with age. With men this occurs for two reasons.
First, fatty substances (plaques) are deposited inside tiny arteries in the penis, restricting blood flow (just as they impair blood flow to the heart).
This poor circulation leads to ‘atrophy’ of the tissue within the penis — muscle starts to waste away, leading to loss of length and thickness.
Second, there is a gradual build-up of relatively inelastic collagen (scar tissue) within the stretchy, fibrous sheath that makes erections possible.
‘If a man’s erect penis is 6 in long when he is in his 30s, it might be 5 in or 5½ in when he reaches his 60s or 70s,’ says Dr Irwin Goldstein, director of sexual medicine at Alvarado Hospital in San Diego.
‘Starting around the age of 40, the testicles also begin to shrink’ — by up to a centimetre in diameter between the ages of 30 and 60.
In women, changes are related to reduced levels of oestrogen with the menopause, which reduces blood flow to the area. The uterus also shrinks, returning to the size of that of a pre-adolescent girl, as the body registers that the organ is no longer active and so spares vital resources that other, still active organs can use.
Dwindling oestrogen levels mean mammary glands and milk-producing tissue wither, to be replaced by fat, so the breasts lose their bulk. Natural wear-and-tear on the supporting skin and ligaments makes them more likely to drop.
HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF: For men, a healthy, low-fat diet that is good for your heart will also be good for your sex life — as healthy arteries all over your body mean better blood flow to the penis.
Women can do little about breast changes (apart from wear a well-fitting bra), but Mr Jackson says that for both men and women, regular sex can slow the shrinking process.
‘It really is a case of use it or lose it,’ he says. ‘If you have regular sex, you improve blood flow and oxygen supply to the sexual organs, and they are much less likely to shrink.’

BRAIN

The brain starts to shrink from around the age of 20, by as much as 10 to 15 per cent over the rest of your lifetime

The brain weighs around 14 oz (400g) at birth and grows to 3 lb (1.4 kg) by adolescence, but it starts to shrink from around the age of 20, by as much as 10 to 15 per cent over the rest of your lifetime.
Doctors don’t know why this is, but believe it could be triggered by a build-up of toxins in the brain or simply the result of brain cells that would normally be expected to regenerate, dying off. Studies show the process appears to be accelerated by smoking, drinking alcohol and diabetes.
Being overweight and having high cholesterol levels also appear to have an impact.
Scans show the frontal and temporal lobes (which control thinking, planning and memory) shrink most.
However, contrary to expectation, the shrinkage doesn’t necessarily affect the thinking capacity, and cognitive tests have shown men and women perform similarly despite increasingly different brain sizes.
HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF: Keeping mentally active throughout your life is key.
An Australian study of over-60s measured the volume of people’s hippocampus (the brain’s memory centre) and found that those who scored lowest on a ‘lifetime of experiences’ questionnaire (which measured levels of complex mental activity across their lives) had lost more than twice the volume (8.3 per cent) compared with average.
Avoiding excess alcohol also helps (post-mortems show alcoholics have smaller, shrunken brains), as does getting adequate sleep.

FACE

Scientists used to think loss of muscle tone and gravity led to facial ageing, but more recent thinking is that the facial bones actually shrink in size, sucking in the skin and muscle around them.
The jawbone is most prone to shrinkage — if you lose a tooth, the jawbone that supports it will shrink away.
Experts believe women appear to lose facial bone structure earlier than men (women in their early 40s, men 10 to 15 years later).
HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF: The key is to practise good dental hygiene to prevent tooth decay and loss.

BLADDER

At the age of 25, the average person’s bladder can hold two cups of liquid, but by 65 its capacity is half that.
‘Capacity and function shrinks with age because of physiological changes to the muscle structure,’ says Zaki Almallah, a urologist at the Bladder Clinic, Birmingham.
HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF: Avoid excess caffeine or alcohol, which irritate the bladder. Men and women should also do regular pelvic floor exercises to boost bladder control.
‘You shouldn’t necessarily reduce fluid intake as you get older,’ says Mr Almallah, adding that you need to drink enough to ensure your urine is clear and light yellow — not dark.

THYMUS GLAND

The thymus is a tiny organ that sits just above the heart, producing the T cells that protect against infections.
It gets larger throughout childhood, reaching the size of an apple, but starts to shrink after puberty, condensing to the size of a small marble in adults.
Arne Akbar, professor of immunology at University College London, says: ‘After puberty, the body has to maintain the immune system, but its efficiency will drop off.
‘This could be why older people are more susceptible to cancers.’
HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF: Professor Akbar says studies indicate a low-calorie diet boosts immunity, but this research is still in its infancy.

...AND THE PARTS THAT KEEP ON GROWING

NOSE AND EARS: Our ears grow by an average of 0.22 mm a year.
The inner part of the ear lobe (the ‘concha’) remains the same size, but most ears become steadily longer.
The traditional explanation has been they are made up cartilage, which continues to grow after bones.
However, gravity is another factor. Cartilage, like skin, becomes thinner and loses its elasticity as we age, with collagen and elastin fibres breaking down.
This allows skin to stretch and sag, the tip of the nose to lengthen droop, and the ears to stretch down.
FEET: Our feet become longer and wider with age, as the tendons and ligaments which link the many tiny bones lose elasticity.
Podiatrists estimate that the over-40s can gain as much as one shoe size every ten years.
Richard Handford of the Society of Chiropodists and Podiatrists says the tiny joints between the toe bones deteriorate, allowing the toes to spread out, and the arch of the foot to flatten.
The protective fat pads on the heels and balls of the feet also flatten through wear and tear.
He advises wearing a good pair of running shoes as often as you can, to support the feet.

Maggie Brown (Author)

Visit Amazon's Maggie Brown Page

Find all the books, read about the author, and more.

Top Stories

CRAVINGS

I obtained this article from the Daily Mail and it does make a lot of sense, especially as children do not inherent such a thing as fatness from their parents but rather, they DO inherit their parents' eating patterns. We are not only responsible for our own dietary health but also future generations

How to curb your cravings: 

A new book reveals what those impossible-to-resist moments are telling you and the best way to satisfy them

There’s nothing more frustrating if you are trying to lose weight than finding yourself unwittingly lured to the biscuit tin, the fridge or the larder at the mercy of an impossible-to-resist food craving.
In just a few moments, all those carefully counted calories and hours in the gym can be instantly neutralised by an unfathomable compulsion for something sweet, creamy, salty, delicious, but definitely bad for you.
For years scientists have struggled to explain how cravings can defy logic and nutrition, yet cause perfectly sane and healthy people to gorge themselves on junk food.

Sugar addict: According to research cravings can be particularly strong if sweet treats were used as a reward in childhood

Only last week, researchers at Yale University came closer to an answer with a study that identified a weakness in the brains of obese people that makes them less able than slim people to stop themselves eating high-calorie foods, particularly when hungry. But that doesn’t explain where the cravings come from in the first place, or why we’re all prone to them.
Now, however, one psychotherapist believes she may have the answer. After years of working as a counsellor to drink and drug addicts, Dr Dorothy Virtue noticed strong similarities between their cravings for a ‘fix’ and her own out-of-control cravings for ice cream and bread.

ART OF FOOD
When we crave food, we visualise it, making it difficult to think of anything else, says a study

She realised that both could very often be a way of covering-up or  trying (unsuccessfully) to deal with deep-seated emotional issues. She made some changes to her life and the cravings stopped: ‘When I finally listened to my gut, instead of smothering it with food, my life radically shifted,’ she says.
‘I transformed myself from a fat, unhappy woman with little money or romance in her life, into a trim-figured psychotherapist rich in friendship, love, and financial success.’
Dr Virtue switched her specialism to the study of eating disorders and food cravings and, through on-going investigations, found strong correlations between certain food types and specific emotional issues.
She believes food cravings are as natural and predictable as a startled reaction to a sudden loud noise, and her work centres on the belief that psychological issues such as stress, anger, anxiety and shame drive us to crave either sweet, crunchy, chewy or creamy foods.

YOUR CRAVINGS AND WHAT THEY MEAN

CRUNCHY

HOW TO BEAT CRAVINGS

• Impose a 15-minute cooling off period during which you try the steps below. If you still feel like eating after 15 minutes you are free to do so. The enforced break is enough to stop a pattern of automatic eating.
• Brush your teeth — this can get rid of the imagined taste of what you are craving — and drink a large glass of water (you may just be confusing thirst with hunger).
• Analyse your craving — do you feel fear, anger, tension or shame?  Recognising the trigger can relieve the craving.
• Do something about the feeling or trigger. Instead  of procrastinating and carrying the burden of this problem around with you, think  of some way to move toward relief.
• Exercise — this can help to boost serotonin levels, improves your mood and suppresses appetite.

If you’re feeling stressed, resentful, bitter or frustrated, you’re likely to turn to foods that you crunch.
Crunching on crisps, popcorn, or crackers — even celery — can help ease tension in the body; they provide a cathartic outlet for all the tension held in the jaw and act like a delicious punching bag as we take out stress and anger in every crispy bite. 

CREAMY

We crave creamy, soft foods such as ice cream or cheeses when we feel anxious, insecure, embarrassed and guilty, because they can be relaxing and comforting.
Choline, found in milk, has a soothing effect on the body. Milk also contains L-tryptophan, which when combined with carbohydrates (such as sugar) triggers the production of the brain chemical  serotonin, which creates a pleasant feel-good sensation. In addition, the sugar in milk products boosts energy and mood, while the creamy smooth texture is comforting.

CHEWY

You are probably harbouring long-suppressed feelings of either jealousy, confusion, dread that something awful is going to happen, or self loathing.
Your urge to chew is linked to the innate belief that chewing will release the tension and help you work through your confusion. For example, are you craving toffees? You may be struggling with indecision.

SPICY

Hot cravings means you crave excitement and intensity in your life, and may not be getting enough thrills. You have strong desires for novelty and change. Several researchers have correlated ‘sensation seeking’ with cravings for spicy, crunchy or sour foods, gourmet foods and unusual, exotic foods.

NUTS

The chemicals inherent in nuts, as well as the textures associated with them, tend to soothe fun-deprived individuals, so cravings could indicate an expression of unmet needs for fun and pleasure. Cashews and peanuts contain large amounts of tyrosine, which raises blood pressure. Nuts also contain pyrazine, which triggers the pleasure centre of the brain.
They are high in fat which, in food, can mask feelings of emptiness, loneliness, worry and discontent, and can either be crunchy (which makes them perfect for the stress-eater) or creamy smooth (perfect for the comfort-seeker).

CARBS

The smell, texture, taste and inherent mood-altering properties of bread, rice and pasta make them some of the foods that are most craved by people who are stressed, tense or frightened.
When we get tense, our body assumes we are in danger and may need pain medication. The brain produces the hormone cortisol to anaesthetise any pain. Cortisol, in turn, stimulates production of another brain chemical called Neuropeptide Y, which triggers cravings for carbohydrates.
If we eat in response to these cravings, we’re more likely to gain weight, because Neuropeptide Y and cortisol, still believing the body may be in danger, order the body to hang on to any excess body fat.

CAKES AND BISCUITS

Sweet carbohydrate cravings are similar to those from bread, rice and pasta. Both are high in carbohydrates, which produce quite  soothing emotions.
A craving for biscuits, cakes and pies reflects a desire for comfort and reassurance, but it can also signal a resistance to doing something (you may take solace in the sweet deliciousness to avoid something you don’t want to do). Cravings can be particularly strong if sweet treats were used as a reward in childhood. In effect, when you reach for a biscuit or a slice of cake, what you’re really saying is ‘I need a hug’.

CHOCOLATE

Chocolate is one of the most common cravings, particularly amongst women. This is because chocolate contains the same chemical — phenylethylamine — that your brain creates when we’re feeling romantic love.This is why many of us turn to chocolate when we are in need  of love or feeling disappointed in  a relationship.
What’s more, the high fat content also soothes feelings of emptiness, insecurity or loneliness, while the texture can be creamy if you need comfort, or crunchy if you’re angry.
Chocolate also contains a serotonin-like substance called diphenylamine, which appears to promote feelings of calm — so if serotonin and energy levels are drained by stress-filled days, too-tight schedules, unhealthy eating, and lack of exercise, we turn to chocolate to feel better.
The stimulants in chocolate also act as an instant pick-me-up.
Finally, Pyrazine, a chemical found in chocolate odour, triggers the pleasure centre in the brain. So how do you beat your chocolate cravings? Ginger ale and soya milk have a high tyramine content which can relieve chocolate cravings.
The sweeteners in diet drinks stimulate brain production of phenylethylamine, the same ‘love drug’ found in chocolate, while the smell of coffee can alleviate chocolate cravings because it contains the same chemical (Pyrazine) as chocolate.
Non-fat chocolate (frozen yogurt or fat-free brownies) may help, but be warned: fat-free doesn’t necessarily mean low-calorie.
Finally, aerobic exercise will boost serotonin levels, improve your mood and suppress appetite.

THE QUIZ YOU SHOULDN'T RESIST

Answer true or false to the questions to see how badly your good dietary intentions are blighted by cravings . . .

1. I tend to over-eat one or two certain types of food.
2. If I have just one bite of a certain food, my eating habits and appetite go out of control.
3. I sometimes worry — often without justification — that I won’t get enough to eat.
4. I crave certain flavours or types of foods; sometimes the only way to make the cravings go away is to eat what I desire.
5. I have gone to extreme lengths to get the food I’m craving.
6. I only over-eat when I feel a strong emotion, such as anger.
7. As soon as I finish work, I head straight for food.
8. Sometimes, out of the blue, I’ll find I’m incredibly hungry.
9. I feel uncomfortable openly talking about my feelings.
10. I wish I were a more confident and strong person.
11. When I lose enough weight to start receiving compliments, I start to put it back on again.
12. I want to lose weight to please my spouse, parent, lover, or some other person.
13. I’m almost to the point where I’ve given up hope that I’ll ever lose my excess weight; maybe I’m meant to be overweight.
14. My weight makes me feel bad about myself, and when I gain weight, I feel like a failure.
15. I never seem to have enough time to eat right or exercise.
16. I’m so busy, some days I wonder if I’ll drop from exhaustion.
17. I seem to be working harder these days and achieving less.
18. Often, the only way I can unwind is by eating.Food is a great pick-me-up when I’m feeling drained but feel that I need to keep going.
19. My weight changes between the seasons.
20. Eating is one of the few pleasures in my life. 
21. Sometimes when I’m lonely, I’ll nibble on whatever’s handy.
22. Usually when I diet, I’ll stop caring whether I lose weight. That’s when I start over-eating.
23. I often go back for second or third helpings of diet, low-fat, or low-calorie foods.

Now add up the true answers for each group of five questions.

Q 1-5. If you answered ‘true’ to three or more, your cravings are triggered by foods containing refined white flour or sugar (biscuits and cakes).
Q 6-10. If you answered ‘true’ to three or more, you could be the sort to over-eat in response to very strong emotions. You may be sensitive, but you may get so absorbed by other people that your own feelings get ignored, and you end up eating in order to manage your emotions.
Q 11-15. If you answered ‘true’ to three or more, you could be the sort of person who uses food as a friend, a companion, or for entertainment value.
Q 16-20. If you answered ‘true’ to three or more, you are likely to be a stress eater, whereby unhappiness at work or dissatisfaction with your love life triggers over-eating to ease the tension. You might get alcohol cravings to manage taut nerves, need a regular caffeine fix to pump up enthusiasm and energy, crave chocolate to ease love-life disappointments, desire bread and dairy to calm yourself down, or go for crunchy snack foods to control feelings of anger.
Q 21-23. If you answered ‘true’ to three or more, you could have rather inconsistent motivation because you’re trying to lose weight for someone or something else — not yourself.

Extracted from Constant Craving by Dr Doreen Virtue  (Hay House, £9.99). To order  a copy for £8.99 (incl p&p),  call 0843 382 0000.

Maggie Brown (Author)

Visit Amazon's Maggie Brown Page

Find all the books, read about the author, and more.

Top Stories

HOW TO DESCERN THE FRAUDULENT FROM THE GENUINE

SORTING OUT THE FAKES FROM THE REAL SPOTTING CHARLATANS

Now I had to post this being in "the trade" so to speak, but before I even start on this article's views properly I want to point out something that really infuriated me, here the journalist who wrote this did not do his research, indeed IT IS NOT ILLEGAL TO SAY YOU ARE A MEDIUM and you only have to look on the Internet and in every magazine to see "Mediums" advertised.

I would agree there are plenty of charlatans, fakes and frauds around, I have met a few in my time and some I might add who were supposedly spiritualist mediums. A genuine Medium does not guess nor ask questions or try and make things fit. A genuine Medium does not ask leading questions, nor listen in to a crowd nor read people's body language or take any heed of the tone of the recipients voice. A genuine Medium should be able to connect with the recipient's loved ones in spirit without any prompts what so ever. One of the most accurate and best ways to connect on a spiritual level is via instant chat messaging. I say this because, you have no physical contact, you cannot see one another, nor can you hear the recipient's voice. Nor can you conjour up a particular 'Spirit' i.e. the recipient's late mother, sister, brother etc. Spirit come forward for a reason. But by doing communications in this way, you are wholly dependent on your guides and the recipient's loved ones in spirit, you cannot cheat.

As a medium who has worked on platform myself, I would never start a spirit communication, with, "I have a Tom, Dick or Harry or whoever here". That could apply to over half the audience, but to always pick a recipient and deliver the message and give survival evidence i.e. proof I have who I say I have, by finding out what they passed over with, a full description of their appearance and their character and a memory perhaps a description of the recipient's home or the loved one's home, what they did for a living and some activity the recipient  had been doing. I would be looking for concrete proof like a description of a particular photograph or what they had been reading or watching on TV to prove that their loved one was around, a name would not be enough. It is good survival evidence that weeds out the genuine mediums from the 'Fakes'. 

Genuine Mediums trust spirit and if they are unable to obtain a good link with spirit too, they should have the courage to say so. Mediumship is not about party tricks or showmanship but a deep conviction to help others for that is the reason Spirit convey this gift. OK there is an argument why do psychics and mediums charge if they really want to help others, put it this way, you are not paying for their skill but their time, for if we dedicate our lives altruistically how can we work elsewhere, we still have to eat. What most people realise Mediumship takes a great deal of energy its extremely tiring and challenging for the medium to obtain a spirit link. would you go to work and do a tiring and demanding job for no recompense? I doubt it.

Coming back to this article, yes audiences can be fooled and it saddens me there are charlatans, frauds and showmen who parade themselves as mediums, but its like that in all aspects of life, there is good and there is bad. Hopefully you will now know what to look for and know that a genuine medium will give you survival evidence and not try and make things fit.

THE ARTICLE BELOW WAS WRITTEN BY PAUL ZENNON (A MAGICIAN BY THE WAY) WHO'S NO DOUBT WRITTEN THIS FOR THE DAILY MAIL FOR PUBLICITY FOR HIS BOOK. HOWEVER HE HAS NEGLECTED TO DO HIS RESEARCH AND ASSUMES EVERYONE IS TARRED BY THE SAME BRUSH AS HIM. JUST BECAUSE HE USES TRICKERY TO DECEIVE, HE NEEDS TO REALISE NOT ALL DO. IF HE WAS A PSYCHIC IN HIS 20'S HE COULD NOT HAVE BEEN A GOOD ONE SO RESORTED TO CHEATING, SHAME ON HIM

What a load of crystal balls! As Diana's former psychic is accused of cheating on stage, a TV illusionist exposes how trickery can fool any audience

Picture the scene. ‘I’m getting a Derek, a Donald… no, it’s a David,’ the middle-aged woman on the stage announces to ripples of excitement from the packed audience. ‘Does that mean anything to anyone? Does someone know a David who’s passed recently?’
Nervously, an elderly woman in the stalls raises her hand. ‘My late husband was called David.’
Bingo! The psychic has found her target.

Di lie: Sally Morgan, once Princess Diana's psychic, is accused of misleading vulnerable people

She closes her eyes and sways a little, hoping to give the firmest impression that’s she’s listening to voices the rest of the audience cannot hear.
‘I think your David is with us now,’ she announces, to gasps of astonishment. ‘Did your David suffer from pain in his back?’ In the stalls, the woman nods incredulously. ‘Did he pass recently?’ The woman nods again.
‘Well, he wants you know that all the pain has gone now, that he loves you very much and that thing you’ve been worrying about... you’re not to worry about it any more.’
As applause fills the auditorium, the elderly woman dabs away the tears.

On stage, the psychic gives a humble little bow of her head — so pleased to be of service — and moves on.

Trick of the light: Paul Zenon says rooting out information on people in the audience before a show is common practice

Now, something very like that happens in most performances given by stage psychics — it has done for centuries — and newspaper reports say that something along those lines happened at a recent performance given in Dublin by Sally Morgan, self-styled as ‘Britain’s best-loved psychic’ and reportedly the daily confidante of Princess Diana.
But was Ms Morgan really addressing the spirit of dear, departed David?
A member of the audience claims otherwise, saying that she could hear a man’s voice relaying information, presumably via a microphone and hidden earpiece — such as ‘David, pain in back, passed quickly’ — to the psychic superstar on stage who, 10 seconds later, claimed to be talking to the spirit of David.
The voice only stopped when it was heard by a theatre usher, who closed an internal window.
So was Ms Morgan getting a little help from the real world rather than the spirit world? While she insists absolutely not — *although it is still illegal in this country to claim to be a medium — having studied stage psychics for years and been one myself in my 20s, I am sceptical.

Got your number: Magician Paul Zenon says psychics have been deceiving people for years

My own experience as a psychic, manipulating audiences using various tricks, led me to become a magician, which feels altogether more honest.
When people come to see a magician, they know they are being deceived, be it by sleight of hand, misdirection or technical ingenuity. But they’re happy to be deceived because it’s skilful, entertaining and fun: people are happy to suspend their disbelief. Unlike at shows such as Sally Morgan’s, when the audience genuinely believe they are communing with the dead.
‘Stage psychics’ and mediums have propagated this myth for years, using various techniques to overcome our natural disbelief in their so-called powers.
People tend to forget that psychic shows are very big business. In some theatres you can get audiences of 2,000 or more which, at £20 to £50 a ticket, generates a huge amount of cash to be shared.
This money, the innocent audience believes, will be shared between the theatre and the single person they have come to see — the stage psychic who, of course, is there ‘to help’ the bereaved and the grieving.

Game's up: An audience member claims he heard a man's voice feeding information to Sally Morgan over a microphone

But what if the psychic is sharing some of his or her cash with others? What if he or she is employing unseen assistants?
These days, most psychic performers have given up using ‘plants’ — people they pay to pretend to be regular members of the audience — because it’s too easy to be found out.

But what if the plants aren’t actually seen in the show? What if they just mingle with the audience, listening into conversation, only to sneak off and relay the information backstage before the show begins?
Gullibly, we believe the performance starts when the curtain goes up; in fact, it probably got under way the moment you walked through the theatre door and started to have a conversation with your friend, despite that chap who was standing so close.
Pre-show work, it’s called, and television audiences for these increasingly popular shows are particularly vulnerable to it. Was that really an audience research questionnaire you filled in before the show started, or have you just made the performer’s job a whole lot easier?
The same goes for anyone who’s paid by credit card at the theatre or whose name appears on its mailing list. Armed with that sort of information, a researcher could be examining your Facebook wall in seconds.
But there’s nothing new about pre-show work. In the heyday of the travelling show in America in the 19th century, members of the psychic’s team would arrive in town the day before the rest of the show.
Keeping a practised low profile, they’d wander through the cemeteries, looking for newly-dug graves, seeing which one had fresh flowers on.
Combine that with an afternoon spent at the town library looking at obituaries in the local paper and huge amounts of information could be dug up to dazzle the audience with when it was duly unveiled the next day.
Communications technology has been used by psychics for around a century.

Magic touch: Psychic Sally claims she spoke to Princess Diana every day for four years

Claude Alexander Conlin, the American performer billed as ‘The Man Who Knows’, amassed an astonishing fortune of $4.5million (£2.9million) in the second and third decade of the 20th century, his ‘mentalist’ act enhanced by hidden microphones in the ladies’ rest rooms connected to the primitive earpiece hidden under his turban.
Hidden microphones (now in mobile phones, pens or badges), earpieces and human helpers are all still employed by psychic performers, but the biggest research resource these days is, of course, the internet. 
A few months ago I was offered a piece of software that if you fed it a name and a town — which psychics could have access to through ticket sales — would give you an address, and the names of family members (including the recently deceased) and neighbours.
Courtesy of Google Earth and Street View, it could even give you full details of their house, right down to the colour of the front door and the make and model of their car.
It took about 30 seconds and cost around £5,000 a year, small change given the amount of money these performers rake in.

Body language: There are endless techniques 'psychics' like Sally can use to get information on people - but are any of them the real deal?

However, despite these expensive tricks, the very best psychics rely simply on their patter and presence — their stage charisma, if you like — and two inter-related skills known as ‘cold-reading’ and ‘fishing’.
Cold-reading starts with examining your audience closely as your performance begins: their clothes, hands, hair. It’s amazing what a skilled cold-reader can learn just by looking at someone, such as their age, their marital status and their social class.
Then you take an even closer look. Who’s nudging their neighbour? Who’s leaning forward? Whose jaw has just dropped at the mention of a name. You’ve found a target.
Then the fishing starts.
‘Have you lost someone you loved? Have they passed over to the other side?’ Now, that’s a silly question at a psychic show. The only reason people go to such shows is because someone they loved has died and they’re hoping for a message from them.
But because the psychic has got the first question right, the audience member starts to believe. Emotionally, they desperately want to believe, so when the psychic runs through ‘Was it your mother, father, brother, husband?’ the target hears only the right answer: everything else is mentally edited out. 
‘It was my brother Edward,’ they mumble, and from here, the skilled psychic performer is away.
It can be vague — ‘You find it easy to make friends but you haven’t many close friends. Am I right?’ But it can also seem very specific, with questions designed to further win an audience’s trust. ‘Have you got a scar on your left knee?’
You’ll be amazed how often the answer is yes, and if it isn’t, they simply move swiftly on. The audience barely notices and the psychic goes on with the show — raking in pots of cash in the process.
And it is the lucrative nature of this deceit which annoys professional magicians like me. Stage psychics use very similar techniques to us — their audiences are being deceived by the same means — but those audiences don’t realise it and are parting with their money only because they’re bereaved, lonely and at their lowest ebb.
So if, Heaven forbid, performers like Ms Morgan aren’t actually talking to the dead... then I think the public has a right to know.

• Paul Zenon is a magician, paranormal sceptic and author of books about magic and swindles, including Street Magic and 100 Ways To Win A Tenner.

* IT IS NOT ILLEGAL TO CALL YOURSELF A MEDIUM IN THE UK

Maggie Brown (Author)

Visit Amazon's Maggie Brown Page

Find all the books, read about the author, and more.

Top Stories

WHAT FRIGHTENS OFF MEN?

I obtained this article via Yahoo but given the amount of problems clients come to me with, I couldn't put it any better myself. I get so many women clients who after they have had one date, they are mentally planning their wedding from the wedding dress right down to the seating arrangements. They ask me is this the one, sometimes if they are lucky it is and I have to remind them to be themselves and to reiterate all of the following below, some on the other hand have to kiss a lot of frogs to find their prince and they don't always like it, when either I say to go slowly else you will frighten him off or he's not the one.

 

Five Things Women Do That Frighten Men Off

Men are like wild horses: they scare easy.

1.    Insta-Coupling
Women often say that men are scared of commitment. Newsflash: they’re not. What they’re scared of is commitment too soon, and “too soon” simply means “before he’s thought of it himself”. You can’t be the one leading the way when it comes to anything like spending more time together, becoming exclusive, moving in or getting married. All you can do is set your own personal time-limit and then quietly leave when it’s time to get out.
This starts right from the beginning. When you meet a new man, never make the mistake of letting him feel you have a boyfriend-shaped vacancy in your life that he can just hop straight into. Don’t start calling to say, “Hello” and “Good night” every day, or immediately start inviting him along to all your plans. It’s not flattering to him, he wants to feel he’s having to win you over by his sheer amazingness. Let him feel your life is full and fulfilling already – and if it’s not, slap yourself and go get busy -- and that he has to create a boyfriend vacancy by himself, by thinking of ways to please you.

2.    Insecurity
The first three months of a relationship should be easy and fun, happy and light-hearted. It’s not the time to tell him your thighs are completely different sizes, you’ve always hated your hands and that you can’t get through a day at work without crying. We’re all insecure but your boyfriend is not the place to seek comfort and reassurance in the early stages. To understand this, you have to realise that men and women bond in different ways. Men only tell problems to one another when they’re looking for solutions – we do it as a way to break the ice. If you confess everything you secretly dislike about yourself to a new man, he’ll assume you’re wanting him to “fix” it all, and feel overwhelmed. He’ll start thinking, “Wow – this girl seems to have a lot of stuff going on at the moment. I can’t cope with all this, I have my stuff too.” Instead, act as if you truly like yourself. 

3. Be too nice
“Whatever you want!” “I don’t mind which film we watch!” “I’ll have what you’re having!” When a woman really likes a man, she sometimes stops voicing her opinions and begins blending into his world as much as she can, to keep his approval. (This often happens after nookie.) Instead of being the sassy, independent-thinker her man originally fell in love with, the girl begins to turn away from everything she likes, and turn towards his interests instead. She swaps her TV dramas for his sports shows, wears the clothes he likes her in and forgets all her hobbies because HE has become her main hobby. Attractive? So, so not. Turning yourself into his Mini-Me will take all the fun out of the relationship. You’ll lose confidence, stop pursuing your goals and he’ll start distrusting you – if he doesn’t know when you’re unhappy, he won’t know when you’re happy. Keep your spicy edge. If he teases you about watching Come Dine With Reality Tattooed Brides every week, ignore him – and keep watching it. He wants to date an equal.

4.    Try to make him jealous
Occasionally, if you feel your man is losing interest in you, you might feel tempted to make him a little bit jealous. Should you give in to this temptation? Very, very cautiously. Truth is, if a man loves you, he will automatically feel you’re pursued by other men all the time. He’ll think you’re so beautiful that you can’t get on a bus without men circling your seat like slavering wolves. So if you bring this to his attention too obviously, he will think, “What’s she really trying to tell me here?” He’ll see it as a game and it’ll irritate him. Imagine how you’d feel if he came home from work saying, “Woah – the new PA just couldn’t keep her eyes off me today!”
Instead, just look your very best and keep your life as happy and busy as possible. Occasionally be busy at weekends. Keep going out with the girls. Keep working-out at the gym. Go away on holiday without him sometimes. Take every opportunity to meet new people. Keep putting yourself in places where he’ll worry you’ll meet someone better than him, and he’ll keep on his best behaviour around you.

5.    Over-reacting
Men like a spirited, strong woman, that’s for sure. But they see “strong” in a very specific way. To men, a strong woman is not the girl who shouts at him every time he looks at another woman, lets rip when he comes home late or lectures him on how he’s let her down. A real sign of strength is poise – don’t let him see that he gets to you. He’ll be far more concerned about losing you if you calmly and briefly tell him what’s wrong and say you’ll see him again when he’s fixed it (then leave him alone), than if you yell and threaten and cry but remain right by his side. If you keep reacting emotionally, he’ll see you as out-of-control and weak and he’ll retreat.
At all times, keep your eyes focussed on your goals in life aside from him. Work, work out, see your friends. Do this even when you want to be with him all the time – do it especially when you want to be with him all day. Keep your life moving. Give him space and freedom naturally by being happy in your own skin whether he’s there or not. That’s when you’ll frighten him in the best way – that one day you might disappear – and he’ll work to secure you forever.
 

Maggie Brown (Author)

Visit Amazon's Maggie Brown Page

Find all the books, read about the author, and more.

Top Stories