EXCERPT FROM "THE JOURNEY TO SPIRIT"

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HOLDING ON TO GRUDGES

Is there any point in holding on to grudges, sulking and not talking to anyone? You may not have any control of how others treat you but you can set and live by example. How is there any hope of solution or compromise, if one or neither party is talking to the other? This goes for all arguments and this goes for wars too, someone has to make a move and this should be you. You will never make a "right" from two "wrongs", be the bigger person and make a special effort to hold out an Olive branch and I will tell you why.

Holding on to grudges, resentment like other negative emotions only damages your own soul in the long run, it will affect your health and well being for when you dwell in negativity this causes changes in your auric field causing it to shrink in on itself, this in turn then affects the functioning of the Chakras (energy vortices within the body and responsible for conducting the body's life force through the body and maintaining homeostasis). Each Chakra governs a major endocrine gland thus affecting hormone balance, hormones are chemical messengers within the body that instigate actions in their target organs e.g. stress hormones such as cortisol instigating a rise in blood pressure, which in turn can damage the kidneys and heart long term. So can you see, how resentment and other negative emotions do us no favors?

So you hold out the Olive branch the other person has a choice, they can take it or they carry on with their resentment. You may even find they will apologise, this may even get them to talk and both of you together may then see the other's point of view. I would suggest you try this tact a few times appealing to the other party you want to resolve your differences, only by talking will you resolve your differences.

Supposing they turn away and refuse and want to carry on with their grudge in spite of all your efforts, supposing after you have tried appealing to them a few times even in a letter if they still wont talk and wish to carry on? Well then you walk away, knowing you have done your very best and leave this to Universal law. We live in a Universe where there is a constant balance and exchange of energy. What you give out, you will get back tenfold, this applies to Positive thoughts as well as Negative, if you are constantly giving out positivity to others you have nothing to worry about and all this positivity will be returned to you. However if you constantly want to be wrapped up in Negativity and things go wrong in your life you only have yourself to blame, this is the Universe's way of showing us if we don't learn by our own actions then we will have to take what comes to us. We all have personal responsibility. Sometimes we do have to walk away from toxic people all we can do is pray that spirit will help them see the errors of their ways. Walk away but send them love and hopefully that kind and loving thoughtform will instigate a change and help them for their own good.

CONSTRUCTIVE ARGUMENTS

Why am I not happy? Many people say this without stopping to think. This is often not because they are unhappy but in a period of stasis. We do need a certain amount of stress to motivate us, yet the curious thing is no stress at all is also stressful, we find we have too much time on our hands or we get stressed from the repetition of the same routine, change and variation keeps everything fresh and alive. This goes for all aspects of our lives, be it at home or work. However if you know the reason you are unhappy is the result of another's behavior rather than leave it to fester it is best to tell the other party in order hopefully leading to a resolution, and not resulting in an argument.

When it comes to arguments and disagreements, these can be healthy as they help clear the air. For how are we able to know if our behavior is affecting others, if no one tells us and likewise if we find others are upsetting us, instead of berating the other person we should tell them how we feel. The problems arise though because instead launching into a tirade of insults, it is much constructive to start with, "I feel" and then go on to explain how YOU are feeling, without being insulting. You will then find it a lot easier to find some common ground and a solution. Another problem arises when airing grievances and that is one where old arguments are brought up, this is neither healthy or constructive. However what do you do, when you are trying to air your grievances healthily, you've started off by saying how you feel, you haven't insulted the other party, nor have you brought up the past but the other party has taken offense and gone on the defensive and started dredging up the past? Well keep calm, take a deep breath talk slowly and state you do not want an argument and that we are discussing ….etc and its unfair to bring up the past. If you are in a relationship with this person reassure them that you love them and that you don't want to argue but this is what I am feeling and I'm telling you because I love you and want to be truthful and honest and you are also my best friend and I am asking for your help. As soon as you say you are asking for their help you will generally find the whole atmosphere will change. However if they are  still acting negatively keep calm and try the broken record technique. If this doesn't help and you have done everything else correctly, then its best to wait until they have calmed down, so walk away and politely tell them  we will talk when we are BOTH calm. Now I know you are calm but if you say "YOU" it is more than likely they will flare up further.

When you have given them a suitable calming off period try again by stating you care and love them but you really want to resolve this as you genuinely didn't mean to cause distress, chances are they will have had time to think and you should be able to resolve your differences constructively. Of course you will get the sulkers and they require a different approach. Sulking is not a very mature thing to do, as it solves nothing for in order to come to a conclusion you need dialogue. Sulking is the adult version of a tantrum in my opinion, its a desire to be noticed and for attention. So you treat the sulker as you would a toddler having a tantrum. When a child has a tantrum its because they are too little to understand strong emotions and they are unable to cope, so the result is a tantrum. To dissipate a tantrum you walk away or remove the child to a quiet place firstly to help them calm down. You keep calm, you must not lose your temper as you have to control the situation for them. Calmly you talk and pretend the tantrum is not happening, you reassure the child you love them and talk quietly and lovingly to them, this does not mean to you have to give in, to what they wanted that caused the tantrum in the first place, but by being quiet and loving gradually the child will calm down and you can hug them when its all over. Its similar to what you do with a sulking adult, give them their space to calm down a bit. Talk quietly and calmly and reassure you care/love the person, you don't want to argue you really don't, but you do want to resolve things but in order to do this, we do need to talk. Now for persistent die hard sulkers you may have to leave them alone if they flare up at that and try this tact a few times but it does work.

Lastly an old saying but a true one, "Never let the sun go down on an argument". In other words don't let conflict drag on as it can grow arms, legs and bells on. Nothing is ever resolved by sulking, fighting or shouting at some point there has to be talking and if more people discussed their grievances there would be fewer wars and conflicts in this world

WORRY

"Worry is a negative prayer. It is telling the Universe how frightened you may be feeling. It also reinforces your ‘fear’ vibration and may bring about exactly what you fear".

In other words if you are negative you attract further negativity towards you. No matter how you are feeling there is no sense in worrying, it is not practical and it achieves nothing, that does not mean you should be over confident, what it does mean however is you trust spirit and the Universe to give you what you need and so it will be done.

A TECHNIQUE TO DEAL WITH WORRY

This is a great little technique to deal with worry you will need first of all a large glass jar, with a tight fitting lid. It doesn't have to be an expensive jar a large washed out coffee jar is ideal for you are not going to keep the jar when it is full

The jar should be kept near to your front door as the idea is you place all your worries in the jar e.g. worries about work, money, health etc. You will also require something like string, or wool, you can have different colors for different things e.g. green for health, yellow for money, it really doesn't matter but the more you can relate to the worries the better.

You will also need a pair of scissors and you keep the scissors and wool/string beside the jar by your front door. For every worry you have cut a length of wool/string you think represents how big your worry is e.g. for a big money worry cut a piece of yellow wool 12 inches long say and for a little health worry cut a piece of green wool 1inch long and place them in the jar and replace the lid. I am sure you will get the idea.

Over time you will find the lengths you cut will get shorter and shorter until you don't see them as worries at all. When the jar is completely full and full of all your worries you can either bury it in the garden or put it in the trash can, then you can begin a new worry jar.

TRUE BEAUTY COMES FROM THE INSIDE

Becoming beautiful inside is what radiates beauty evergreen. This means looking at ourselves as people and reflecting what makes us who we are. Remember the world does not owe us a living, we are what we ourselves have created. Ask yourself, "Do I like who I am?" "Am I a good person?" When you give "of" yourself and start loving people in a unconditional way, liking them without being judgmental you begin to radiate beauty from within, you radiate it from your soul. It is through this you will achieve "Inner Beauty".

INNER BEAUTY

What shows on the outside comes from within

Every giving moment every mortal sin

It shows in the eyes the windows to your soul

It shows where you've come from, a tale to be told

All your experiences, your faults and your pride

It's etched in your psyche there's nothing you can hide

Nothing can be erased nor wiped clean

You may not see what others do but believe me it is seen

It reflects in your aura and the colors it dictates

It shows up regrets, your faults and your mistakes

And this will be seen and reflected for all to view

This becomes your inner beauty, this is You

COPYRIGHT ASTRID BROWN

Astrid Brown (Author)

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